Tropical storms named Isaias, blocked bandwidth, P-Valley, Black is King, and more. You didn’t ask, probably don’t care, but guess what? You’re getting it anyway.
1) Imagine leaving the comfort of your home, going to work and finding out Netflix has been BLOCKEDT. I almost walked out. Talking about using too much bandwidth. Bandwidth my ass.
2) We made it to August, y’all. Praise! The countdown to 2023 continues. I’m counting down to 2023 since y’all’s cousins don’t know how to follow directions to simple instructions like wear masks, avoid large crowds/gatherings, not being a dick. Y’know, the usual.
3) Check out the mail-in voting options in your state. Don’t let these people fool you — encourage your family and friends. Let them know it’s a viable option. Use the Google, saints. PA folks, apply for a mail-in ballot here.
4) Things BEYONCÉ did with ‘Black is King’: THAT!
5) Am I the only one who needs their allergies to chill out until after Lady Covid dips? Every time I sneeze, cough, or feel the slightest tingle in my throat, I’m like “Oh, bitch. I KNOW that ain’t what I think it is?” Then can’t sleep for 2-3 days. No?
6) Anybody watch P-Valley on STARZ? I’ve been told it’s my kind of carrying on, which I’m excited about. What’s chapping my ass is the fact that Xfinity thinks I’m going to pay an additional fee for STARZ in THIS economy.
7) Did the National Weather Service start to run out of names for tropical storms and hurricanes? I can barely pronounce Isaias but he/she sounds like a bad bitch.
**Update: According to the elite minds at Wikipedia, Isaias is the Spanish and Portuguese form of Isaiah. Talk about letting the air out of a ballon.
8 ) See #4
9) Eventually these will be moving to youdidntaskbut.com. You can go there now and subscribe to the mailing list so whenever I start you’ll get a notification. Graçias.
10) Don’t be a dick.
11) Be careful on the roads in the storms today. Seriously. And don’t be a dumb ass and drive through puddles of water. Philly PD does NOT have boats. Trust me, I’ve called to ask for one. Their response: “A boat? What kind of boat? A sail boat?!” The way I looked at the phone before muting it to holler. Had to compose myself and say “Yes, a sail boat because people are stuck on 95.”
Originally posted to Facebook on 8/4/20.