I read the Sunday Boston Globe (April 1, 2018) today and there was a front-page article regarding the declining enrollment of many Boston area colleges. Without going into the specifics of the article, it centered around the declining enrollment of these colleges, one had lost 90% of its students over the past decade. How did this happen?
I am part of the baby boomer generation who filled college classrooms everywhere to capacity and beyond. Many colleges were founded during that era. But since the 1980s, college enrollment had been declining. The only colleges immune from this have been the Ivy League colleges and other top tier colleges such as M.I.T., Cal Tech, Carnegie Mellon and some small but very highly regarded colleges such as Amherst, Wellesley, and Bowdoin. And because of this, you see colleges who used to have a full enrollment advertising on television in an attempt to attract students. In my area it has been the Massachusetts state schools.
Certain colleges, smartly, have seen the writing on the wall and have combined with other colleges. The fact is, not only do we have fewer students desiring to go to college, but we also have fewer students who belong in college.
Another problem is students are graduating with degrees for which there are very few openings. I recently ran across a young woman who had a degree in Fine Arts from a very good college but had been unable to find a job in that field. She had resorted to being hired by the Audubon Society and giving yoga lessons. But her cumulative pay is far below what someone with her level of education in another field could expect to get. So where does this problem begin? It begins with high school students not getting sufficient advice on their future prospects. It continues with student enrolled in fields which see 5000 graduates a year who are competing for 50 jobs.
I put this on the high schools of the United States. I tell people all the time to chase the passion. My qualification to that is, make sure it is a vocation that both has room for you and from which you can expect an income commensurate with having a college degree.
In my case I got a Bachelor of Science degree in computer science with a minor in business. Eventually I got a Master’s of Art degree which looked great of my resume but which in fact I never used. Both fields were then, and are still now, in high demand. It is my belief that every high school guidance counsellor should have in his possession a chart detailing both the demand for any degree desired and the pay a person can expect to start.
Colleges need to reconsider their viability going forward and the sorts of degree programs they offer. They also need to offer counselling services to advise students on their ability to afford the college. Too many students find themselves living hand-to-mouth each semester as they scramble to find the funds to pay for tuition, housing and basic needs. Many fail.
The United States Federal Government in recent years has seen fit to reduce the amount of funding available to college students. Because of this, students are forced to find funding from private financial institutions who change high interest rates and demand the student start paying on the loan shortly after he receives it. This means a student must find employment to cover that debt. This, of course, impacts the student’s ability to focus on his studies.
The answer to all these questions is quite easy in each case. Than manner in which they are resolved, however, is complex and requires a level of effort from our educators and elected officials to find answers.
college
Rating the Websites of the Nation’s Top Technology Universities
I started in computers in 1970, got a B.S. degree in computer science, and a masters later, was a member of an IBM/DEC effort to computerize the college campus. That was in the mid-1980s. Afterwards, at another job where I was a project manager, my instructions to my web designers were simple: always make whatever you put on a web page “painfully obvious.” The user should never have to guess where to find something and going between a subpage and the home page should always be one click away.
Graphics are great where graphics are called for. But in the first 10 universities I reviewed, all of which either have the word technology in their name or pride themselves in the technology acumen, too many were overburdened with graphics. Worse, some of the graphics seemed like an inside joke, something a person working or attending the university would understand but which an outsider would be made to feel like an outsider.
My next review will be of the Ivy schools, except Cornell which I reviewed here, plus a few other top rated universities.
MASSACHUSETTS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
Home Page – “A”. A single frame page with links to every part of the university you are looking for.
Second level pages – “A” equally fine with a single frame, for the most part, but all the important highlights a potential or incoming student may desire.
Overall, the M.I.T. webpage is a model for all schools.
CARNAGIE-MELLON UNIVERSITY
Home Page – “B+”. Scrolling required. Should have stopped at “the fold.” That is, everything below the first frame belongs on another page.
Second Level Pages – “A”. Well organized, no scrolling, and links off to areas potential student would want to see.
Overall, not a bad look. A few fixes here and there on the home page and the site would easily get an A overall.
UNIVERSITY OF MIGHIGAN
Home Page – “C+”. Multiple scrolls require on home page. Would have been perfect if they had stopped at the bottom of the first frame. Everything below the first frame belongs on a different page.
Second Level Pages – “C-“. Does not look like much thought was put into these pages. Way too much blank space. The “Prospective Students” section, for example, has many redundancies which easily leads to confusion.
Overall, is the Big Blue trying to show just how pretentious is can be or is it a lack of engineering oversight? Either way, it is not a good look for such a great university.
CALIFORNIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
Home Page – “C-”. The slide show banner has got to go! It is very unprofessional. This page is in desperate need of re-engineering. Funny I should have to say that about an engineering school. Kids today love the acronym TMI, too much information and that exactly describes this, the worst of the best technology schools in the nation.
Second Level Pages – A great improvement over the home page.
Overall, I recommend that Cal Tech take a look at the Cal Poly home page to see how it’s done right.
RENSELLEAR POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE
Home Page “D+”. A slideshow at the top? Why? The most valuable information appears all the way at the bottom of the page: Admissions, academics, schools, resources, etc. This page is easily the biggest waste of space of all the technical colleges.
Second level pages – “B-“. Some were good with all information contained within a single frame while others looked like the home page all over again. The Lally Business School page, for example, would be better served with much small fonts and elimination of the “Lally News & Events,” at least from that second level page.
Overall, this site desperately needs to be reworked. It is poorly laid out and is too concerned with past accomplishments rather than future students.
WENTWORTH INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
Home Page “A-“. I would have given them an A” but a listing of current “events” simply does not belong on a home page.
Second level pages – “B+”. Not bad although a couple of pages were a bit long. Top in a prospective student’s mind, and his parents, is the cost of attendance. This showed up under admissions as a tertiary page. It should have been on the second level.
STANFORD UNIVERSITY
Home Page “C-“. A college/university president is not the most important person in education. His picture needs to go! Ongoing college events does not belong on a home page. The things most important to the prospective student look like an afterthought sitting at the very bottom of the page. Shame on you!
Second level Pages – These pages are well-organized and a vast improvement over the home page. Were it not for these pages I probably would have given Stanford a “D-“ overall.
I thought Stanford was better than this, guess I was wrong.
GEORGIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
Home Page “C+”. The graphic presentation which takes up the entire first frame needs to go, or at least be put into the background. Flashy is not always good and here it is just bad. The next screen down belongs on a separate page or pages. The third frame needs to be moved to the top in a place of prominence in which it belongs. And with it, most of what is in the second screen could be incorporated there.
Second level Pages – “C+” Same problem as with the home page, the information is spread out over many scrolled screens. Most of these pages need to have the information which currently resides at the bottom of the page pushed to the top of the page where it belongs.
Those persons responsible for this site desperate need a heavy dose of logic and reasoning. The most important information an educational site offers consistently sits at the bottom of the page on Georgia Tech’s site.
CORNELL UNIVERSITY
Home Page “C-“. I counted five full frames from top to bottom. Here’s a thought, do it in one! Sadly, much of what presently exists on Cornell’s home page is pure eye wash. Everything the prospective student needs already exists in the first frame. The following four frames should have been placed elsewhere on the site or simply eliminated.
Secondary level Pages – “F”. Someone at Cornell is really proud of his graphics. Is that what Cornell is all about? My first click at the top level was on academics which took me to a page that told me, nothing! Once again, lots of graphics about, who knows what, and I found myself in a position of having to descend yet another level to find anything about academics. And there, at the third level, was all the information I expected to find at the second level.
Overall, I hope Cornell teaches its students better engineers than that which they did on their site.
VIRGINIA TECH
Home Page “A”. Compact and complete. One of the best reviewed.
Second level Pages “A.” I am finishing as I started, a college with a good grasp on what a good website looks like. It is easy to maneuver and very complete with information offered.
Overall, VT site is right up there with M.I.T. as one of the best.
An Absolute Guide to Success for Teens and Twenty-somethings.
I have both a B.S. and a Masters degree, the latter from Harvard University. Now from that simple statement anyone who did not know me would probably think I am a pretty smart guy who did really well in life. Well, truth be told, only one of those statements is true, I am indeed a pretty smart guy. Now comes the “but.” But I miss pretty much every opportunity afforded me in my teens and twenties. I am pretty certain I received a PhD in missed opportunities.
When I was in high school I managed to be so thoroughly distracted, mostly by girls, that I was unable to complete most assignments. From age 14 to 18 I spent far too many hours thinking about the girl of my dreams, which varied of course, when I really needed to be doing my homework.
Did I tell you I am a contradiction in terms? I am! From when I was about 6, I always found a way to earn money. True, most of that money went to buying candy and ice cream but I was happy and satisfied. I had a paper route for about 3 years, ages 11 to 14. When I turned 14 I had a full time summer job on a local farm which I went back to when I was 15. At 16 I worked in one of the local factories, a true sweat shop. Loved it! One of the best educations of my life. And finally, when I was 17 I got a job at Raytheon company as a clerk. Seems I could type pretty well. I earned 5 cents more per hour than a girl my age who did nearly the exact same job I did. I knew I was unfair.
After graduation from high school I was headed for Boston University. I had gained early acceptance, November of the previous year, and thought I was good to go. Well, nothing could have been further from the truth. Before the first semester had ended I knew my college career had ended. Prime reason, I was constantly daydreaming about the girl of my dreams which varied. Oh, and I was not doing my assignments.
By December of that year I had decided that a career in the army would be a good thing. I took their various tests and actually managed to get myself into flight school, no easy task. No one breezes through basic training but once I had completed that I was on to my dream, flight school. In the army that means you are going to rotary wing (helicopter) training which, in those days, started at Fort Wolters Texas and was completed at Fort Rucker Alabama. It did not even take me a month to drop out of that. Still, certain people saw promise in me, enrolled me in the following class, and suggested I take that opportunity, one which was seldom offered. I declined. I had had enough. In truth, quitting seemed easier. Enough said about that save over the next 18 months I received every promotion I was eligible for in the minimum time required.
I was a two-year enlistee who got out and headed directly back to college. I mean, who can fail twice? Ah, but I was head of the curve this time. I had the girl of my dreams, was head over heels in love with her, life was wonderful! And yet, in spite of that, I managed to fail every class in which I was enrolled. And so what do you think I did next? No, I did not go into the army but I did go to flight school.
This flight school was of the fixed wing variety held in Tulsa Oklahoma. And as it turned out, I was a natural pilot. This time I pushed myself just enough so that after 5 hours of flight time, the minimum time required by the FAA before a person can fly solo. I soloed during my 6th hour. Time passed, my flight time mounted up, I took and passed the FAA written test required for a private pilot’s license. Oh, and during this time I held down a full time job as an orderly at a hospital in Tulsa. One day, while driving home from that hospital, I daydreamed for a moment or two but I was exactly enough time that I did not see the person stopped in front of me until it was too late. I managed to total two cars and decided it was time to go back home and do what?
That question got answer just before I left Tulsa when talking with my mother on the phone she asked why the army was looking for me. She assured me she had not told them where I was but I knew the gig was up, again. You see, I was supposed to be going to reserve army meetings for two years following my separation from active duty. I had attended exactly zero.
I bit the bullet, headed for the local army recruiter and confessed my sins. He had a nice laugh on me but in truth I was actually happy to be returning to the army. It was a safe place for me, and I actually liked it. During my first three years back in the army I managed to successfully navigate two years of college education via the local University of Maryland campus. Now a reasonable person would think that within the next three years I would complete that degree and all would be well. That is not exactly how it went. During those 3 years I got married, had a child and allowed just about everything to impede my college education. I took me until 1986 to finally get that B.S. degree. I did not mention this before but I entered Boston University in September 1967. You might say I was just a tad slow, or, you might hold me to a higher standard and say I found far too many excuses for not succeeded while giving not a single good reason.
I started my graduate education at Harvard University in September 1986. That degree took me far too long too, but let me just say, it was more of the same stuff I have already related so why repeat myself.
What does any of this have to do with those of you who are in your teens and twenties. Everything!
I am 66 years of age now, retired and enjoying pretty much everything life sends me its way. But my retirement has also allowed me the time to give my life considerable and very honest review. What I discovered is absolutely appalling. I found that I had missed pretty much every opportunity which came my way from age 11 through 30, a full twenty years! How could that happen? How could a rather intelligent person, which I am, miss just about every opportunity? Simple. I did not see a single one for what it really was.
When you are 18-years-old truly believe that you have this infinite pool of time ahead of you. That is mistake number one, always! Life happens a day at a time and even though at times it seems incredibly and boringly slow, those minutes are just as important as any other collection of minutes in your life.
I really believe that it rare that an 18-year-old had any inkling as to what he wants to be doing come age 40. And why is age 40 so important? Two reasons: first changing professions at that age is extremely difficult and, two, like it or not, age discrimination comes into play. Cry all you like about it being against the law, which it is, but just try proving it! That means that by age 30 you really really need to be doing a job you look forward to and cannot imagine doing anything else. That was not me.
Okay, so what should you do to insure that at age 40 you are right when you both want and need to be? Be on the lookout for opportunities and explore each and every one to the fullest extent possible. Ah, so what is an opportunity?
Failure! Failure is one of the best opportunities of all. Failure, by definition, says you tried something but did not succeed. Failure is the most prevalent opportunity any human will ever experience. Do not quote me on this, but I believe Thomas Edison failed over 200 times before he finally found a filament that worked in his light bulb. It is likely that the incandescent light bulb would have been invented eventually anyway, but it was Edison completing the task because he did not take failure as meaning hopeless. He saw it as meaning he needed to find another way of doing things. And that is exactly how failure becomes an opportunity every time.
It took me two shots at algebra and two shots at geometry to get each right once. Had I carried that forward most, if not all, of my failures could have been turned into successes. But I did not. It was always easier to say why something could not happen than ask the question of how could I make it happen. And this is where you come to a universal truth. Going it alone will probably get you lost. But ask for help and you will probably find the way. And never ever let anyone tell you that you cannot do something. They probably do not know what they are talking about anyway.
Instead of finding an excuse, find a way. For example, you are getting ready to graduate high school and you happen to notice that your grades are average and that being said by a generous person. But you find, of a sudden, this desire to be a nurse, a lawyer, an architect, the best trumpeter ever, or pretty much anything else. Your first response is going to be that such lofty goals are now unachievable. Bull shit! They are all achievable but you must find an alternate path. That means instead of graduating from medical school at age 27, you might have to graduate at age 30. So what? Start with something you can do. I suggest community college. It is affordable and pretty much takes on all comers. Plus, it is college and its credits are generally transferable to not only the state schools but to most private colleges and universities. But most importantly, once started, do not let anyone or anything stop you until you have reached your ultimate goal. But be warned, your ultimate goal is likely to change while you are attending college. Hell, you may even change career fields entirely but that is part of learning.
If you do not think that is true, pick any highly successful person you know and ask them one simple question: as them what was their biggest failure prior to becoming whatever they are and how they overcame that.
One more thing about your aspiration, find someone who is successful in your field of choice and asked them to tell you in some detail what it took for them to get where they are.
Finally, along the way you are going to run into difficulties, some greater than others. But there are going to be a certain number of difficulties where you have only one choice and that is to ask for help. Do it! Make no excuses for not doing it. Do not project what you think the person you are asked for help is going to think of you. The thing is, it is human nature that we enjoy being asked for help. And, this is important, that first person does not have an answer for you, do not leave without asking if they know someone who might know. And if they do not know that either, keep looking until you find the needed help. And never ever miss an opportunity to nail down your professor and them him or her that you are 100% confused over a point, a concept, or anything else. Those are the things people who do not quit do. And those are the things I failed to do on a regular basis.
Finally, there is this idea of inherent intelligence going around. I happen to know I am a very intelligent guy but it does not seem to have done me a lot of good, at least until recent years. I truly believe that most people underestimate their actual intelligence. If someone looks at your high school record and tells you what your listed IQ is, I recommend that if it is less than what you think it should be, put it off to your having had a bad day the day of the test and that you are in fact far more intelligent than some test says you are. I say this because more likely than not, you are.
Every mistake you make gives you a bit of valuable information. It tells you where you made a wrong turn. Return to that point and make the right turn. Make absolutely everything which happens to you in your teens and twenties learning experiences, commit them to memory, get advice on some of them, and use them to your advantage wherever possible. If your mother wants you to become a doctor and your father wants you to become a lawyer and you want to become a chef, get yourself into that chef’s school. Own you decisions, own your mistakes, never lie, and never quit.
Navigating Relationships in Your 20s
As human beings we are social creatures by design. We are not meant to be alone and certainly not meant to live alone. Somewhere around the age of 12 we all experience the desire to be with a special someone. Unfortunately, schools do not teach us about friendships and relationships. We learn by watching what other people do, what our parents do, and, unfortunately, what we see on television and the internet. The last two, of course, are absolutely the worst places. Still, we all seem to get into relationships that are doomed from the start. Women, unfortunately, settle for “Mr. Right Now” instead of waiting for “Mr. Right.” Men look for someone to take care of them, someone to replace mom. We men will never admit to that but it is true.
Life is all about priorities and choices. Young people, myself included when I was young, I am 66 now, seldom prioritize anything and are prone to bad choices. Also, life is messy, just accept that truth and do not worry about it. As much as you might think you do, you definitely do not know what someone else is thinking about you, never assume.
I recommend that all young people stay in school as long as possible. Getting well-educated for young people must be priority number 2. That assumes that priority number 1 is taking care of yourself and whatever that means.
It is not just young people who find the concept to self-care illusive, it is older adults as well. I believe the most basic element to solving absolutely any problem we have or will have is that we keep a very sharp focus on taking care of ourselves. Those basic things include eating healthy, annual visits to our primary care physician and dentist, regular exercise, and even something as basic as dressing ourselves. The old cliché’ of dress for success is true.
That done we need to have a plan for our future. This is also a self-care issue. Until we finish the highest level of education possible or necessary, our education has to be priority number 2. Few people at age 18 know what career they want to pursue. Even some of those who think they do really do not. What I recommend is that high school seniors who are undecided do one of three things: 1) take a year or two off from school and enter the work force while you discover yourself, 2) join the military, 3) when you enroll in the college of yourself do not decide upon a major, go as “undeclared.” During the first one or two years in college there are more than enough courses all college students must take to qualify for a degree. Those courses almost always are enough to fill a freshmen year and at least in part a sophomore year. And during that first and second year discover what truly thrills you. Discover what your dream career is and then ask questions of college advisors what it takes to achieve the highest level in that career. With a few exceptions, physicians, lawyers, nurses, and some others, your course of action will probably not be obvious. But regardless of what college you attend, there is someone there who can give you the advice you need going forward.
I have a B.S. in computer science and a masters in U.S. History. The latter degree came from an extremely good university and I pursued that degree because I really like U.S. history. But had I had my senses about me after I finished my time in the army, I was 21 at the time, I would have pursued a career in astro-physics. At the time I would have complained that I sucked at math. But the truth was simple, I did not know how to study and overcome obstacles. Math would have been tough but manageable had I had a plan. When I retired at age 58 I was sprinting away from a 30 year career because I simply could not stand going to work anymore. I made a lot of bad choices and did not have the courage to pursue my dreams.
Between the ages of 18 and 25 young people are usually absolutely obsessed with being with that special person. And unfortunately this obsessions becomes priority number 1 in their life. In my priority list here it does not belong even in 3rd place, still too high. But relationships in general do belong in place number 3. One of the craziest ideas people have is that they should never date a friend for fear of ruining a friendship. I believe people who think that way have only a tenuous hold on what makes a good relationship.
Our most important relationships necessarily are with our family of birth. Our parents and siblings are our first relationships and given all the years such relationships exist, should be our best. Too many times, however, that is not true. Sometimes it is for good reason but I think that is the exception rather than the rule. Young people, myself included at the time, think our parents do not understand us. It is a ridiculous thought but prevalent. What we all need to do is put forth whatever effort is required to understand our parents, where they came from and from that why they are who they are now. There is no substitute for understanding. Within the family unit one of the most common negative emotions felt is resentment. Resentment, along with jealousy, is one of the most useless feelings we all have. Resentments are founded in fear, doubt and insecurity and serve no good purpose. When you feel a resentment ask yourself why and what happened to make you feel that way. Then take good honest look at yourself to find the role you played in developing that resentment. That done, let it go, get over it. Resentment is the poison you drink while you wait for the other person to fall ill.
I have three daughters. When she was in high school my eldest daughter came to me and complained that she did not have any friends, that no one liked her. I knew that could not be true and asked her if she had one good friend. She responded that she did. I told her that she already had all the friends she needed and to not worry about anyone else. She later told me how good that advice was when she suggested to her younger sister that she come to me about friendship advice. It is my belief that people should practice being a friend and how to have friends prior to moving on to something more serious. That is not to say you should not date, you should. Just refuse to commit to anyone before you are ready and certainly not before you have the friendship concept down cold.
It is at this point people oft times find themselves interested in a good friend for a more serious and intimate relationship. If you still feel you cannot be intimate with that person for fear of ruining a good friendship then I suggest you still do not have the friendship concept down. Why would you want to be in an intimate relationship with anyone who would not also qualify as a best friend?
Try to avoid getting married before you are 25. Considering 50% of all marriages fail, why not wait it out as long as possible? I am not saying you cannot find that right person prior to 25 you can. But when you think you have that right person in your life make sure you ask and answer the tough questions. You want someone who is secure, devoted, monogamous, honest and who, when you are not engaged in sex or having a conversation with, you can sit quietly with and enjoy their company fully. This is also the person who, when you are about to do something dumb, will lovingly suggest you consider your options. This is the person who is not jealous, always courteous, thoughtful, and loves you when you are at your worst. This is the non-judgmental person with whom you share your greatest fears and who knows all your shortcomings and loves you all the same. But even my short list here suggests that you must be willing to invest a serious amount of time in the relationship prior to agreeing to marriage.
The long and short of all this is simple, make sure you can exist happily on your own before you make a commitment to be with anyone else. Sometimes even with our best efforts relationships fail. And when they do, do not be that person who has to scramble to find a place to live, to feed yourself and otherwise take care of yourself. Do not be the person who will have difficulty in making ends meet. Do not be the person who thinks because the relationship failed you are a failure too or that you are unlovable. And definitely do not be the person who, on the heels of that failed relationship, quickly jumps into another because you feel desperate, lonely or anything else that puts you in a negative light. Without being annoying or narcisstic about it, always consider yourself a catch and that whoever might want to be with you should be lucky to have you.
Got Your BA or BS Degree? Don’t Stop There!
Most people, by the time the finish their first college degree only consider getting into the job force as quickly as possible. They feel their college loans have a stranglehold on them, and that it is only responsible to get a job and start paying them back. While it may be the responsible thing to do, it may not be your best next move.
Now, more than ever, entering into fields that require a college degree only gets you in the door. Once there you discover that to truly get ahead you are going need a graduate degree of some sort. And certain professions, teaching chief among them, require a master’s degree within a certain time period. But what if you are one of those people who get a pretty good BS degree and then find it is not what you really want to do? Here are a few suggestions of master level degrees that do not require a comparable bachelor’s degree.
Master of Science in Mathematics — I spent a career in the field of engineering. But one of the most sought after persons in that field was not an engineer at all but a mathematician. Why? Engineering, and many other fields, require a lot of mathematics to support it. Mathematicians are frequently used for their analytical skills in resolving not just engineering problems, by problems in physics, business, medicine, and a large array of research fields. The demand for a person with a master’s degree in mathematics has been and is likely to always be high.
Master in Business Administration — It is not unusual for a person to get a BA degree in economics, advertising, marketing, and many other fields only to discover that they can greatly improve their situation within their company by getting an MBA. Having an MBA is attractive in fields that may see far afield from business such as public policy, government, and even engineering. No organization exists successfully in the world today that does not have someone within who does not have a keen understanding of business, and is therefore likely to have an MBA.
Nurse Practitioner / Physician’s Assistant — While both these degrees require a prior degree in nursing or allied field, they are in great demand today and that demand is growing fast. Right now it is believed there is at least a 14,000 shortage of physicians. And while a NP or PA cannot fully take on all the responsibilities and duties of a certified MD, he can help fill in the gaps where they do exist. The needs for NPs and PAs is expected to grow for the foreseeable future.
If you are expecting to receive your bachelor’s degree in the near future or have recently received one, the time is now to plan for your next degree regardless of you field of choice. Once you have left college behind it becomes increasingly difficult with each passing year to return. And if you are in either of these situations and have come to realize that you have the wrong degree, by all means, return to college and get the right degree! Master or bachelor! Remember, as long as you are enrolled and attending college your student loans are not due. And even though it means increased debt, in the long run you are putting yourself in a better position to pay off that debt sooner rather than later.
Don’t Sell Yourself Short
When I was younger, much younger, I had two mental lists. The first list was of everything I wanted, and the second list was of everything I believed I could have or could get. The second list bore only slight resemblance to the first. That should not have been the truth, but it was. That first list was not a truth for me because I did not believe that those things were within my reach or that I was capable of gaining them. That, I believe, is the exact definition of selling yourself short.
As a young adult I had an absolutely miserable self-opinion and my body image was not much better. That was at the base of all my problems. People always said, “just be yourself.” But what good is that when you don’t know who you are? Even that would not have been such a great problem if I had someone to bounce things off. That meant I needed someone in my life who would be non-judgemental and give me good advice. I actually had such a person but I was so fearful that I could not get up the courage to talk my mind to her.
This person in my life, Pat, was one of the more beautiful and intelligent women in the community I was living it at that time. I mention that because I was living in Italy at the time and in a rather small community of Americans living over there at the time. Pat was kind, compassionate and understanding. I could have confided anything in her and gotten good advice in return but my insecurities did not allow for that and so I suffered.
In my senior year in high school I was smart enough and had good enough grades that I was able to secure early admission to Boston University. I don’t know if things like that happen anymore, but at the time it meant I had my letter of acceptance from B.U. in November of my senior year while others had months of waiting in front of them. But when I got to B.U. I failed miserably. Why? I did not believe in myself and once again my insecurities did not allow for my owning up to my shortcomings and asking for help from my advisor. Of course I flunked out of college. They didn’t throw me out. I left because I knew I was failing and didn’t know what else to do. I resolved that by joining the army, not the greatest idea in 1968 but not the worst either.
The things I have just spoken of are classic examples of “fear of success.” It sounds like an oxymoron but it is not. I could not handle success so I made certain I torpedoed any success I was having by some sort of ridiculous action. Let’s say, for example, I was dating that gorgeous blonde. I would inevitably allow my insecurity to take control and say something that made her want to run for the hills which of course meant an end to the relationship, such as it was.
While I was at B.U. my advisor one day said that I should have gone to Harvard. I thought he was kidding me, of course, because I definitely was not smart enough to go there. But he wasn’t and so I set up an interview. I was usually good at interviews but I was so intimidated by where I was that at the end of the interview the man told me that I should never even consider going to Harvard ever again. Many years later I went to, and graduated from, graduate school at Harvard but that is another story. I does show, however, how much I was selling myself short. Rather than take what the interviewer said as a challenger, I took it as fact.
Earlier I mentioned a fear of success. The other half of that is a fear of failure. I was projecting. I was always going to worst case scenarios and thinking that failure was the only possible result. What didn’t occur to me was that it was okay to have failures along the way as long as I kept with it until I succeeded. I had a course at Harvard once that I got a C+ in. That is an unacceptable grade in graduate school and the course does not count towards the degree but that 2.7 does get figured into your GPA. That stopped me dead for a while. But once I got my wits back about me, I pushed onward, wrote my thesis with a lot of help, and graduated. Decades later I recognized, fully, what I was capable of if only I allowed for failure.
I heard someone say recently, “don’t worry if you are shooting for the moon and miss. It just means you will end up among the stars.” And so much of life really is that simple. Relationships failure, we fail in school, work, sometimes stumbling just walking down the street. We feel foolish briefly but we move on. In the long run, regardless of what happens, I know I will be all right. Not everyone is going to like me and accept me as I am and that is all right.
I wrote this because I was inspired by a young man today who had just left a toxic relationship and was feeling badly about it none-the-less. I advised him that he can have anyone he wants and that he need only continue on as he is. I didn’t mean that he can simply go out and point to any woman and she’ll be his, no. I mean that when he meets someone he truly likes and is compatible with that he is the quality kind of guy a good woman will want to be with. That’s the “don’t sell yourself short” part.
A Young Person’s Guide to Future Success
When you are 18 years old and thrust out into the world having graduated from high school, the world can seem a foreboding, scary, and intimidating place. Most 18-year-olds have only the vaguest idea of what they want to do with themselves for the rest of their lives. And half of those who think they do are wrong. The question becomes, how does one successfully navigate those years and do what is best for themself? I have a few simple suggestions that do not guarantee success, but do guard against failure.
Figure out what thrills you. This concept, while simple in form, can be most difficult to follow through. For at least a year prior to graduating from high school, young people are bombarded with how to get into college but with little guidance of where to go and what to study. The most successful people of all time have always done something that thrills them, something that wholly and complete draws them in and makes them thirst to know all they can in that field and be the best they can be. It is always a mistake to allow making a substantial income to be crucial. It is always better to have a job you love and live on a modest income than a job you hate to satisfy the desire for a large income.
It is not unusual for an 18-year-old to claim he does not know what he wants to do. That being the case, he should avoid college until he does know. Get out into the world and earn a living for a while, and figure out what you want. But if for any reason you do find yourself in college, take a course of study, preferably liberal arts, that will serve you well regardless of what direction you eventually move in. And do not let taking 5, 6, or even 7 years of study to graduate be an impediment to getting a degree in a field you love. I can assure you, employers never look at how long it took you to graduate, only what you studied and what your GPA was. And if you cannot maintain at least a 3.0 GPA you might consider two things, first, you are in the wrong field of study, or second, you are not committing yourself to do whatever it takes to get good grades, in which case dropping out until you can commit is not only cost-effective but sensible.
Have a plan! Once you decide what you want to do, decide where you want to be in that career field when you are 45-years old. It is all right if it is a “pie in the sky” scenario. Even that gives you a place to start. Once you know what your 45th year should look like, you can research what it is going to take to make that come true. The first question is, what schools are best suited to giving you respectable degree in your chosen field. Then, after undergraduate education is a graduate degree desirable or necessary. If so, make a plan to include schools that will fill that need. Now at this point many of you will point out that you will probably already be carrying a huge student loan debt. Not to fear. Your plan will include a job search, upon college graduation, that will land you a position in a company that will pay for in part, if not entirely, your education in graduate school. Some companies will pay, at least in part, for education unrelated to your job.
Gain and maintain a health mind and a healthy body. One of the unfortunate idea young people have about college is that it is a time to party hard. The problem with this should be obvious, if you are focused on partying how can you expect to succeed in academics? A few can but most cannot. And even those who can, do so at their own peril. Those four or five years are your first chance to teach yourself things outside of the home you grew up in and its influences, parents and others. I am not saying that the occasional party should be avoided, no. But feeling the need to party every weekend, or even nearly every weekend, is quite unhealthy and inevitably leads to unhealthy habits.
Equally important during this time, and in life in general, is dealing with your fears. The person has not be born who does not have a fear of something. Most common is a fear of failure. But also is the fear of rejection, fear of success, and any other fear that gets between you and success. Most fears are actually fairly easily dealt with once they are brought to the light of day, once you share them with someone who can help. It is not unusual, for example, for college students to have problems with retaining the material. This problem can be overcome by simply bringing it to the professor and requesting help. All people need help. Successful people get help as quickly as possibly once they realize their dilemma. There is no disgrace in saying you do not understand something and need help.
Always have a “Plan B”. This is actually a very simple concept. The successful person recognizes that failure is unavoidable but it is what you do when faced with failure that influences future success. Today’s failure may simply be a signal that your plan needs altering, possibly only slightly. But it may also be a sign that your planned in too flawed to ever be successful, and this is when Plan B comes to fore. For example, my plan was to become a family doctor but along the way I discovered I really am not good at dealing with people’s problems. But along the way I discovered also that I was a fabulous researcher and my energies needed only redirection. Or, I was on my way to becoming a world-famous computer engineer, but along the way I discovered I hated learning micro-electronics and all that goes with it. But I also discover I was particularly good at math, and since I really love math, maybe my future lies in that direction.
Having a “Plan C” is not a bad idea either.
Do not allow yourself to be sidetracked. Life is fraught with distractions, many of which have the ability to take us off our desired course. Chief among these, I believe, are romantic relationships. While in college our job is to learn. But where we are social creatures, it is only natural that we form bonds with others. If we are committed to our college career then we recognize when a relationship is distracting us too much from our stated goal. This means the intensity of the relationship must be lessened or the relationship ended entirely. Neither is easy but they are necessary for our future success. Suffering a failed relationship is a small price to pay for a successful life.
Never compromise on morals and ethics. Cheating in college is not unusual, and some might even say, epidemic. One of the most common forms is the purchasing of term papers. It is an immoral act that speaks to the character of the person. It is better to fail while doing your own work than pass with someone else’s. If you never cheat, never lie, you need never explain yourself for your actions will remain above reproach, even when such attempts on your character are made. Decide on your moral and ethical character and then never give an inch on them.
Young People in the Workforce Dealing With Their Significantly Older Co-workers
This posting is inspired by a young lady who blogs on wordpress.com, http://lostgenygirl.com/2012/04/17/how-to-get-along-with-older-coworkers/ and that is a link to her post. I recommend that everyone read it as she not only writes well, but she brings up many points about what young people encounter in the workplace. I am most definitely one of those “older than her parents” people she would encounter. She wonders how to relate to us and that is an exceptionally good question. Other of her posts deal with what leadership her generation, “Gen-Y” needs to give. Those thoughts dovetail nicely.
Several years ago I was in the position of hiring my replacement. I had decided to retire at age 58. I was burned out, to say the least. You can read more about that in my previous posting. I hired a young man who was getting his B.S. degree in aeronautical engineering and had plans to continue with his master degree in that same field. I felt he was perfect, even though I am not that sort of engineer. I was heavily involved with aircraft safety and was working on FAA and NASA projects. Over the next year I was able to guide him into the job.
Engineers have this tendency to be socially awkward individuals who are frequently at a loss of how to interact. I, fortunately, have never been so burdened. In shepherding him along I saw him as a perfect fit who would in a very short time be doing my job much better than I ever had.
This was not the first time I had “summer interns” working for me. We had a program to hire such individuals to do some of the analysis we simply did not have the time to do. They were usually quite bright and highly motivated. Most times their work was part of a thesis they had to present prior to graduation. They were also always from far away places which meant they always left. That last summer was different as I insisted to my boss that we hire this local fellow. He was unaware of my retirement desire.
I considered it my job to make this young man as comfortable in his job as was possible. The first job in your field of study can be daunting, and the fear of failure palpable. But I thought it my responsibility to reassure him that he could only fail by not trying to do what was asked of him. I told him that I did not expect him to grasp the entirety of what I did in one summer, or as it turned out, over the next year. What I did expect of him was to show an aptitude for the work, which he did during the summer, and the willingness to do whatever he needed to plug on and succeed. I told him that I expected he would make lots of mistakes and that was all right. It is simply a part of the learning process. The only bad mistake you can make is to not admit in a timely manner when you think you have made a mistake.
Rare is the job a person does that is so unique that most people in that workplace do not understand what you are doing. But such jobs are usually the domain of much older workers anyway. A young person entering the workplace is the future of the company. They provide an energy all companies need. But more importantly, they are frequently the source of innovation. They come into the workplace unjaded, full of ideas, optimism, and youthful idealism, all good things. But then they look at their coworkers and see a lot of people who are 15, 25, or more years older than they are. How to relate?
One of the first things any new worker can do is to ask they fellow workers what they do. I think of that as networking within the workplace. Most people are more than willing to talk about what they do. For the young person this can prove to be hugely helpful as they day will come when they will have a question one of those people can answer and they will know exactly who to ask. Also, most jobs overlap which means other people are doing things relevent to your job. That gives each worker, regardless of age, something they can relate to one another. For the young worker, you can endear yourself to the older worker in this process, and that is extremely valuable.
Young college graduates are almost always hired into a workplace filled with college graduates. The young person can make “small talk” by asking the older person where they went to college. That can prove interesting, particularly if you graduated from the same college. But even more, these days new college graduates are faced with the idea of graduate school, and that can be extremely intimidating. Again, most of these workplaces are filled with people who completed graduate school. Such people can prove an enormous resource for those going through the experience of graduate school. This is particularly true when the master’s thesis looms large. I know doing my master’s thesis would have been far easier had I been able to avail myself of others who had done it. It never occurred to me to ask.
Young people, you need to give us “old people” a chance. When you consider the entire spectrum of activities that interest you, you will almost invariably find overlaps with us. I am, for example, a huge bicycling fan. On the eve of the Boston Marathon I got together with a number of much younger people for the midnight ride of the marathon route. When bicycling was put into focus we not only found common ground, but an activity we were actually able to do together. We had a blast!
Where music is concerned things can be far more difficult but not impossible. There are those of us who enjoy certain types of presently popular music from artists such as Katy Perry, Pink, Maroon5, and others, but you may enjoy things like blues, jazz, classical, and other forms of music we enjoy so it is not a hopeless task.
It is rare that I find a person I cannot find common ground with. Sometimes it requires a fair number of questions, but sooner or later something always seems to come up. This happened recently with a 22 year-old nephew who has an interest in history. Although our particular interests are not exact, they are close enough that we can have intelligent discussions.
To all young people I say, give us a chance. Talk to us about whatever your heart desires and see how we react. We just might surprise you! It is impossible to know what interests any person has until you engage that person in a discussion and find out for certain. You may actually find some of us to be interesting and people who want to get to know better but you do have to give us a chance.
For Profit Colleges: Do the Students Profit From Attending Them?
I was fortunate. I went to college under the G.I. Bill as it existed in the 1970s and 1980s. That GI Bill came to an end. But before it did I managed to get myself a B.S. degree in computer science and it was basically free. My GI Bill benefits largely covered my expenses, which were modest to say the least. I worked full-time, supported a family, wife, three daughters, and went to school. Then in June 1986 I was graduated from the then Franklin Pierce College. To their credit, they did a very good job. Their focus was computers in the business world and that would have been great had I any intentions of going into the business world. I did not. I was hired my the Massachusetts Institute of Technology to work on its Project Athena. My job was to computerize the laboratories at the various MIT engineering schools, and any of the other schools that showed an interest. In time the psych department showed interest. My degree did little more than get me through the door but in my favor was the fact that there were not large number of people holding the BSCS degree to be found, at least not yet. That came in time. To be clear, it is a degree for a person who fancies himself a computer programmer.
Since I left college with the BSCS degree I have programmed absolutely nothing. I learned Basic, Fortran, Cobol, Pascal, and C; used none. I was fortunate. My army career had taught me to be flexible, to learn on the fly, to adapt, to move in the direct of greatest movement. Because of the Army I had a good handle on computer hardware, its repair, how it works, etc. I had worked on telecommunications systems and radar systems, each with its own set of peculiar electronics. But to be good at either, I had to be expert of all I surveyed, which I did. What I am getting at here is just this: my technical and college education took me just so far. From that point on it was up to me to apply what I knew and learn what I did not know. Most everything I came up against at MIT were things I did not know anything about.
In the fields of engineering and electronics there are two colleges local to me here that practice a teaching style that guarantees each student a fair amount of hand-on real-life experience, Wentworth Institute of Technology and Northeastern University. Northeastern’s coop program is famous for putting its students out in the field to learn their trade and gain experience.
But what of the for profit colleges that seem to be springing up everywhere? Young people entering college for the first time typically lack one most important thing, structure. They do not have a plan, just an idea. Their idea is being massaged by these for profits that if they invest in some degree they can expect their earnings to jump dramatically.
The need for people in Information Technology is going to continue to expand for the foreseeable future. But the amount of education needed to fill the various roles varies greatly. Many jobs, that pay fairly well, can be filled with someone who has as little as two years of education in the proper areas. That might cost a person $10k total and can be had at most community colleges. The same amount of education at the University of Phoenix, by their own estimates, can cost as much as $40k. I think the prospective student needs to investigate the traditional educational path against the for-profit college path. I have a feeling that the local solution meets or exceeds the student’s need. What the for-profits seem to do a really good job of is locating the funding necessary for the student to attend their school. If that means amassing a $25k+ per year student debt then so be it.
I have been in the position of hiring people either to fill a contract or a position. A lot of things go into making such a decision, of course, but if you have two otherwise equal applicants, you fall back to the where they went to college position. I will hire the guy from Wentworth institute with his 2.9 GPA every time over the guy from Phoenix with his 4.0. Why? Wentworth understands there is nothing that can replace world experience on a resume. That is something Phoenix does not offer. The other part is, if I do not know one of the applicant’s professors I probably know someone who does and who can give me a recommendation.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in distance education, but on a limited basis. The ability of the student to interact face-to-face with his professors is invaluable and something that cannot be duplicated over the internet. I was involved with two separate distance courses through Harvard. I turned on my computer and watched a class being taught in a regular Harvard lecture hall. But that class was buttressed by section meetings that required you attend a group in person. One of the most important facilities of this sort of education was the fact that you could watch the lecture as many times as you desired until you fully understood it.
It is my belief that a good educational institution necessarily works as a not for profit organization. That says to me that is focuses all its income on bettering the college and not lining the pockets of investors.
You Didn't Ask But..... 