truth

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Republicans Abandon Truth for the Big Lie


What has happened to the Republican party? Their focus used to be on economics, smaller government and lower taxes. Today they are entirely focused on continuing Donald Trump’s big lie that the election was somehow stolen from him. Why do they not believe the Trump federal court judges and the U.S. Supreme Court who declared that the election was entirely without any substantial issues with the vote count. Did they not see the election results where Biden beat Trump quite decisively by 7 million votes?

Trump’s appeal while in office was to the dark base feelings of white America who fear non-white immigrants and who believe that Democrats have suddenly become socialists. If you hear Republican senators and congressmen speak you will hear them refer to Democrats as being socialists and that their socialist agenda is on display now. Really? The only person do declare himself as a socialist is Bernie Sanders. And now they use him in painting the entire Democratic Party as being a bunch of socialists!

Republicans are panning Biden’s entire $2.3 trillion infrastructure request as somehow being socialist. There is a problem in doing that: the portion of the bill which might be called socialist can easily be deleted if only they brought to the table a true compromise bill, something larger the the $600 billion they proposed.

All that aside, a thinking person has to ask why Republicans are still giving fealty to Trump? Simply put, he still appeals to that base of white America who believes everything that ever came out of his mouth. The exceptions in the party who have decided the truth is more important, Liz Cheney, Mitt Romney and a few others, are being criticized as being out of step with party unity! Hence, people like McCarthy, have decided to stick with the lie in the name of party unity. They believe they can take back the house this way.

If you look into their backgrounds you will find a common theme, they are all highly educated, many from institution which they describe as institutions of liberal education. That liberal education somehow did not affect their ideals as Republicans. They should all, and probably do, know that the truth must prevail. Our country depends upon that. But they are now fearful and have decided that they re-election is more important than the truth. They are highly intelligent people making horrible decisions.

I do believe that in time, hopefully long before the 2024 presidential elections, that the Republican party will return to its roots and that Trump will have faded into the background and be seen for what he is, a huckster who sold too many Americans a bill of goods that goes against all common sense.

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Trump’s Latest Lie; Republican Sycophants Bow


Donald Trump declared that Facebook is hindering his First Amendment rights. That is an absolute lie. His right to free speech extends to what he writes, public speaking, except in fraud, libel, slander, child pornography, purgury, blackmail, incitement to lawless actions, true threats and solicitation to commit crimes. On privately owned platforms there is no First Amendment priveledge. Facebook, and other platforms, have the absolute right to control the type of speech on their platforms. One of the more infamous type of barred speech comes from insider trading on Wall Street where one party knows of something that is going to affect his company and tells outsides to buy or sell stocks based on that knowldge.

McCarthy and Cruz have blasted these platforms claiming they are part of a liberal bias against conservatives. Nothing could be further from the truth, and they know it however they are cowtowing to a still popular former president who has a large and loyal base. They are far more interested in the political funding they get from siding with Trump then speaking against him.

But there are two Republican centrists who advocate the truth, have spoken out against Trump’s lies and know are pariahs in their own party rather than be touted as heros of the party. They are Liz Cheney and Mitt Romney. McCarthy is so incensed with Cheney’s sticking to the truth that he has arbitrarily decided that she must be removed from power. He decided this without conferring with other members of his party. But he is probably on safe ground as a large portion of Republicans either agree with Trump or are too fearful to speak against him.

It would seem that Republicans themselves are more against free speech than they are in protecting it. They seem cowed by the lingering presence of an out-of-office president who is probably the most devisive personality since Andrew Johnson. I do hope that in the near future cooler heads will prevail, that truth will prevail and that Republicans will get their heads out of their butts and just do the right thing!

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A Challenge to the Christian Evangelicals


I read recently that most Christian Evangelicals are still fully supporting President Trump because he has made good on his promise to curb abortions.  But consider this:  I too am anti-abortion but I long ago recognized this as a moral issue, not a legal one, which each person must make for herself.  Please note that I put “herself” because it is not a decision any man ever has to make.  And so, even as much as I despise abortion, I believe in pro-choice.

What further galls me about what this administration has done is to sow the seeds of discord by singling out Planned Parenthood as just a bunch of abortion clinics.  The truth of the matter is, the Planned Parenthood clinics provide all manner of women’s health and the vast majority of their time is spent educating women on issues of health to include why it may be good to not terminate a pregnancy.  But the disinformation the Trump administration has proffered has made Planned Parenthood seem like something it is not.  Jesus believed in choice so why don’t you?

President Trump may just be the most immoral man ever to sit in the office of the President.  How can you look away from these things?  How can you ignore the teachings of the New Testament?

Let me refer you to Matthew 25:31-46.  Do not these verses count in your world, particularly when they are entitled “The Last Judgment”?

“I was hungry and you gave me no food.”  The reduction in support given to those organizations who help feed the homeless and hungry.

“I was away from home and you gave me no welcome . . . ”  Immigrants at our borders fleeing persecution and death are being denied entry or those who get to apply for asylum are made to wait so long that they are killed, raped or kidnapped.

And if you fully read that portion of Matthew and relate it to the world around you, how much of it are you not doing?  Are  you making excuses for your inability to keep the instructions of Jesus or are you finding ways to help?

Jesus said that if you find a man who is impoverished you should give him half of what you own.  I do not suggest that to be a reasonable demand but do you give to those non-religious organizations whose goal is to help as many of those in need as possible such as homeless shelters, battered women’s shelters, food pantries and the like?

Anyone can say “I believe” but the true believer does and says nothing.  Jesus also said something along those lines.

I am not suggesting that you support some Democrat but I am suggesting that you not support Trump who by his daily actions invalidates all Jesus has ever preached.  Support someone who meets the challenges Jesus gave us.

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Always Finding the Wrong Person? Here’s Why


I have a lot of friends who talk to me about their being unable to have a good relationship. Now, these people are all single but having a good relationship is for both single and marrieds of course. But to have that good relationship there are certain things which must be true first.

 
Everything which follows is dependent upon your ability to be completely honest with yourself first, and then with the other person. Without honest, a failed relationship is guaranteed. The first thing you need to do is to take stock of yourself. What is your self-image? How do you truly feel about yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you even like yourself? If you even feel a little bit of negativity about those first questions, then you should not even attempt to date.

 
One of the first things you need to come to terms with is the fact that you are not perfect. Every member, without exception, of the human race is flawed. The person in the successful relationship has either fixed those flaws or come to terms with them as simply being a part of you that you cannot easily fix, that is, if they are repairable. The worst thing you can do, absolutely, is to deny a flaw you know you have. It is also dishonest which breaks the first rule: total honesty is an absolute.

 
Another part of taking stoke of yourself is to admit to those things in your past which have been hurtful to others. But knowing those things is not enough. You have to take a step back and find that character flaw that caused you to do what you did. Then you must go about fixing that character flaw so that it does not repeat itself. Lots of people admit to character flaws but it is on a small subset of them who actually do something about it. But once you have successfully taken actions to either eliminate or reduce that character flaw, you must seek out the party you offended and make amends. That does not mean you simply apologize. You tell the person about the character flaw and that you have either fixed it or are working on it. Then you get to apologize.

 
We called such misdeeds “the wreckage of our past” and to be successful in the future we must clean away that wreckage. Ah, but then there is that person you wronged who you have entirely lost track of and have no way of contacting them. In this case, the simple act of repairing the character defect is all that is needed.

 
By this time, you have realized your imperfections and worked on them. But there is still a lot of work to do. People who have truly successful relationships have taken care of their physical, mental, and spiritual health.

 
The physical part is the easiest. You simply visit your primary care physician and attend to any physical problems that are brought up, weight, diet, medications, etc. By doing what I have suggested previously you are dealing with your mental problems. But here’s the thing, you must have a confidant who you trust implicitly and relate to that person all the things you are doing. This does not mean you need go to a therapist, but it does mean you are talking with someone who will give you well-reasoned, thoughtful advice. It also means that this person will tell you that you are falling short of your goal, who will have the courage to not only tell you that they do not think that you are being entirely truthful but will suggest how to be truthful. This person is also the person who is going to help you exorcise those demons inside you that you have been too scared or too embarrassed to relate to another person. When you courageously push through these things, good mental health is almost a guarantee.

 
Spiritual health is by far the most important and most difficult part of being an entirely healthy person to maintain. Spirituality does not have to be a part of religion and for my purposes here, it does not. Spirituality comes when you have successfully finished those things you I talked about before. It means that at the very least, during the worst of times, you will know absolutely that you are a good person, that you are doing your best, and that you are always seeking out the next right thing to do. How do you know the what is the next right thing to do? Sometimes it will be obvious but many other times it will not be apparent. At such times you try to think it through, seek out another person’s opinion, or, if it is something that requires immediate attention, then do what in your heart you think is that right thing. But if you find it was not the right thing, have faith that in trying something different a second or even a third time, is perfectly acceptable. The key here is allowing yourself the right to be wrong.

 
Once you have a good relationship with yourself then you are ready to make a foray into having a relationship with another person. That relation also starts with complete honest and progresses into the area where you feel like this person is your best friend. When attempting a relationship, always have a short list of things you consider deal breakers. For example, mine was that I would not date a smoker. Another might be that the person must the same religion or same politics ideals as you. If you do not do these things, your chances of a healthy loving relationship is nearly impossible.

 
There are people who look absolutely gorgeous or stunningly handsome on the outside but when you find out what’s on the inside, you see not just a horribly flawed person, but someone who is truly mentally and spiritually sick. Such people are always a bad choice.

 
You may say to me, “but I’m not beautiful or handsome.” What’s on the outside need count very little to not at all for the person you want to be with. This assumes that you are taking care of yourself, physically clean, well-dressed. Think of it this way, the most intelligent people in the world are highly sought after but all that intelligence is hidden from view. The beauty of the intelligence only shows itself when the person speaks on his specialty. This applies to you because whatever is going on in your insides comes out when you do some, say something, feel something.

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Which Lie are You Telling Now?


Everyone has a conception of what a lie is.  It is being deceitful to someone when they ask you a question or when you are offering something which you state as being factual.  I think most people are pretty honest in their lives.  But there is also a part of us, a part I think which comes from upbringing, environment, and other factors which is so insidious that after a while it blurs the truth so badly that we cannot tell what is true or that we are lying.  Still another sort of lie is one I think few people ever even consider, denial.

The first sort of lie comes to us when we are children and uncomfortable subjects arise which are parents cannot find the courage to discuss.  Possibly chief among such lies is the discussion of sex.  As parents we do not know how to speak to our children about it, or we are not sure what we should say or how much we should say.  The other thing that runs in most families is the lack of discussion around things like alcoholism, drug abuse, mental health, and fear.

When I was young we had an alcoholic uncle living with us.  He had been abusive to my mother when she was younger and was abusive to my brother and I when he was living with us.  But he was never referred to as a drunk or an alcoholic but as some one who drank too much.  Then, some time after he died, my mother suffered a mental break down.  My brother, sister, and I were shipped off to relatives to live for a number of weeks until she was recovered.  I was an adult, maybe in my 40s, before I found out what had happened to her.  And then when I asked my mother about sex she pushed some foolish book off on me which told me nothing.  She was too afraid to speak to any of us about this subject.  That was quite common for others in my generation but I fear it still happens far too often.  These are examples, mostly, of denial and fear.  In defense of my mother there were extremely good reasons for her actions, or lack of them.

For the first four or five years of a child’s life, almost everything they learn comes from their parents, either from direct instruction or by parental example.  From then on children learn from their peers but always use their parent’s example as the sounding board of what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable.  But any gaps in a child’s training, direction from his parents, he will fill in the gap with whatever seems right.  If parents actively avoid difficult discussions the child will grow up to do the same.  The lie in the case is the parent knows the truth but does not relate to the child, frequently justifying that action by saying the child is too young or does not need to know whatever.  Most of the time that just is not true.

I believe that as adults it is rare the day goes by that we are not confronted with an uncomfortable truth.  Most of the time those truths are relatively minor though they may be briefly psychologically painful.  The common human reaction is avoidance, and that is always wrong.  And too often that avoidance employs denial.  We think that if we deny that slightly uncomfortable truth, and then forget about it, it will be behind us never to be seen or heard from again.  I think the occasions when that actually happens is rare, if at all.  I believe that these minor uncomfortable truths come at us over and over again, slightly different, but basically the same.  The problem with denial of those small truths is that in either avoiding them, or denying them, we are teaching ourselves how to act or react in those situations.  It becomes second-nature.  We become so numb to our active denial of the truth that we come to believe the lie to be true.  From there we rationalize lying when we encounter even more uncomfortable truths we would rather not face.  Our denial becomes such an active and large part of our lives that we employ it without thinking.

For me, the most difficult truth to tell is one which puts me in an unflattering light.  But in considering such things, I have come to the conclusion that unlike the lie, telling that uncomfortable truth does not require that I defend the position whereas a lie always demands a defense.  And some of the most difficult positions to be in, and not defend, is when I know I own a portion of something I have done wrong but not the entire situation.  I want to say that this other person was complicit and so I don’t deserve all the blame.  The thing is, that does not matter.  If I own any part of a wrong, regardless of how small, I need to just own it and be done with it.  Trying to shift blame serves no good purpose.

My tack these days is to be absolutely honest about even the most minor of details.  For example, when someone asks me how I am doing, and I am not feeling at that well, my response will be along the lines of “I’ve been better.”  But I do not say “fine” when it simply is not true.  That is the most common thing people ask me which requires an honest answer and by being truthful there it helps me practice with the bigger and more important questions of truth.  Every now and then I will discover that something I have said is not quite fully truthful and upon such discovery I correct myself.  The truth is, my feelings have to take a back seat to my telling the truth.

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Perception and Fear: The Deadly Duo


Dr. Phil likes to say, “perception is reality.”  What he means is, whatever a person perceives is his reality.  The problem is, where does that perception come from?  It is only human that many of our perceptions are rooted in our fears, and that is a recipe for disaster.

I was brought up in the “pull yourself up by your bootstaps” era.  We also did not talk about the elephant in the living room.  Those two things are also bad behaviors.  The elephant in the living room is rooted in the belief that we do not wash our laundry in public, and, we fear what people will think of us.  And there it is.

Ever since I can remember I had this conversation going on in my head as to what people were thinking about me, how I was perceived.  The problem with that sort of thinking is, it is usually wrong.  The thing is, it is impossible to know what any other person is thinking until we ask the question.  In the absence of their answer, we really do not know what they are thinking and it is a disservice to that person to impose our thoughts on them.  It is also foolishly selfish because it assumes they are thinking something about us at all when in all likelihood, they are having no so thoughts.  One of my old, and long running thoughts, was that a person did not like me because they were not talking to me.  I got over that many years ago when I figured out they had not even considered whether or not they liked me or not.  And a funny thing happened, when I discovered most people liked me, it totally overshadowed those who did not.   Usually it is irrelevant what another person thinks.

At the bottom of this like/dislike things were my fears.  For too many years I had allowed my fears to rule my life.  I was afraid of both success and failure, not knowing how to handle either.  What I have discovered is that fear exists only as we allow it, and only in the absence of knowledge and experience.  I think everyone has a fear of rejection but the truth is, everyone experiences rejection at some time in their life, and usually on numerous occasions.  Rejection is never a pleasant thing but it is a part of life.  I have found that simply accepting the concept that rejection is going to happen, and, that it is seldom person, I have a lot easier time with it.

The person who says he does not experience fear is a liar.  Everyone does.  It is a normal and natural part of the human experience of life.  Fear is a defense mechanism that was devised way back when we were mainly hunter-gatherers and living in caves.  Every fear I have today exists because I lack the information necessary to bring about comfort.  One of the best cures for my fears has been talking about them, even at the risk of serious embarrassment to myself.  By sharing my fears with someone else, I have found that almost without exception I have the very same fears as many many other people.  There is a lot of comfort to be found in that.  But also, these same people give me ideas, and sometimes answers, to overcoming the fear, regardless of what it is.

I was once told that fear is really an acronym that means Face Everything And Recover.  That is, if I face my fears head-on, if I do not avoid them, I can get past them with a lot less pain that I would otherwise experience.  I identify what my fear is, what is behind it, and what I need to do to recover from its negative effect on me.

When I allow perception and fear to occupy too much space in my head, I am in trouble.  Perception is fine as a starting point, but I always need to either verify or disprove my perception with the facts, the truth.  The truth is not always fun or pretty, but it beats the hell out of unfounded perceptions.  Fear also has a place in my life but it cannot either rule or control my life, my actions.  It is my job, on a daily basis, to accept any fear I have as a temporary reality that needs to be replaced by knowledge and a plan to keep moving in a positive direction.